We all see the articles being shared on social media about toxic people. But what does it mean when we say someone is toxic?
Toxic people are draining, and often unsupportive. They cause turmoil in your life. They bring negativity to you and in turn they use up every ounce of energy you have. They cause you to be unhappy in your life. They will pick fights and cause drama. They are very draining people to have in your life.
Now, unless you have dealt with removing toxic people from your life, I’m sure you’re wondering why anyone would let someone else steal their happiness. Why would anyone let another person stress them out and cause issues in their life?
It seems so easy to just remove those that are negative influences but in reality it’s not. Truth is, when it’s someone you truly care about it gets complicated. Not to mention a lot of guilt comes with the decision to remove them from your life. These are people you care about and you believe care about you. In all honesty toxic people aren’t always cruel and incapable of love. They aren’t simply uncaring or cold hearted. However, the things they take from you, such as your happiness, just from being in your life isn’t something anyone can allow & expect a positive life.
Life is hard enough without toxic people bringing you down. And as much as you care about these people you simply can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else.
This is something I had to learn recently. You can’t allow people to come into your life and bring their negative energy. You will end up physically & mentally exhausted. Other relationships will be affected by this exhaustion and stress.
For me it takes a lot to push me to the point of removing someone from my life that I truly care about. I will give everything I have before I get to the point of realizing, or admitting, that this person is toxic. And it takes even more for me to remove a toxic person. I, like many people who have toxic people in their lives, have a hard time turning my back on those I love. I feel guilty, ashamed, even embarrassed for walking away when I feel someone needs my help. I get caught in this revolving door of trying to fix or rescue them.
Toxic people cannot be fixed or rescued. So you have to be a little selfish and you have to make your wellbeing a priority(but that’s another blog post for another time).
No one WANTS to remove someone they love and care about from their life and it’s certainly not an easy process. However, when your well being & basic happiness are being compromised, it’s something you NEED to do for yourself. Don’t allow them to treat you like furniture. You’re a person & you shouldn’t allow anyone to make you feel guilty about wanting your happiness back. It’s okay to tell them when they are mistreating you or putting more on you than you deserve or can handle.
THAT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON!
Toxic people will try to spin situations to make themselves the victims and when you try to remove them from your life they will not like it. You have to be prepared for them to make you out as the bad guy. They are going to want to start a fight and it’s normal to feel guilty when they start that fight. You want to defend yourself and your choices. You want to work with them and help them be a better person in your life, but it won’t work. All you can do is silently walk away. Don’t let them pull you into yet another storm.
Go find your happiness again, love them from afar, but don’t feel bad about it. You deserve to have a life filled with positive and uplifting people.